Start Bragging, Stop Undervaluing Yourself!
If you read our previous post you know that in order to create the success you want, change is in order. Changes in your behavior and changes in your mindset.
These shifts aren’t always easy to make, but nothing changes if nothing changes.
Two of the shifts that are crucial to acknowledge and actively strive to change in your life are:
- the way you talk about your accomplishments & and ideas
- the value you put on yourself & the work you do
Let’s dive in to these topics!
Say Goodbye to Brag Shame
Brag shame can be defined as feeling ashamed, unable or uncomfortable to share accomplishments, successes, ideas and good news. It is an epidemic in women; doesn’t seem right does it?
Why is brag shame so commonplace in women of all ages? Some were teased at home or at school over the way they looked or behaved, for many they were told repeatedly what nice girls didn’t do or were made to feel stupid about a genuine effort to learn something new.
The common thread between all of these examples is simple: You were shamed by others until you learned to do it on your own.
As women continue to question their inherent awesomeness, they are actually saying yes to a lot of backwards social norms. Norms such as aspiring to be Miss Capable, who is cool yet passionate, educated yet docile, beautiful yet never too forward, generous and nurturing, sweet yet tough, strong but never bitchy, accomplished yet agreeable, nice and extremely capable all while being funny, charming, a wonderful cook and in really really good shape. Miss Capable is hiding something; she has even more brag shame than you!
How does someone overcome a deeply entrenched self-defeating habit? Awareness is the first step, followed by a whole lot of self-love and hard work, day-in and day-out. It is time to join our male counterparts in confidently singing our own praises and stop undervaluing yourself!
Your hot tip for kicking brag shame to the curb:
A 30 day mirror work challenge. You are your constant companion so why outsource your pep talks? Look yourself in the mirror each day and ignite your confidence from a spark into a burning flame.
Get sassy, wink at yourself when you pass mirrors during the day and tell yourself you are fabulous….not so anyone can see you of course. That would be awkward. You’ll branch out from the mirror before you know it, sharing your wins and ideas with others. Believe in yourself and others will too.
Sad But True, Stop Undervaluing Yourself
The #1 mistake that keeps women overworked, underpaid and dissatisfied is….attaching a higher value to other people’s needs, accomplishments and talents than to their own.
According to the Humphrey Institute of Public Affairs, “While women represent 50 percent of the world’s population, they perform nearly two-thirds of all working hours, receive one tenth of the world income and own less than 1 percent of world property.”
We live in a unique era of conveniences, technology and equality. Thank you indoor plumbing & modern appliances for all that you are! While women grew up being told we could have it all, the execution of this path has failed to take root in our day-to-day behaviour. Statistically speaking, despite outnumbering men as college graduates and earning more post-graduate degrees, the numbers do not translate into the business world.
Would you like to have an extra $463,000 in your retirement fund? There remains a significant gap between what women and men earn at the same jobs, and that gap climbs along with their career path. By the time a woman is 65 years old, that gap can add up to almost half a million dollars. If you are anything like me, that number has you boiling hot like you accidentally swallowed a big ball of green wasabi!
By putting your hand up for new opportunities and having the confidence to create your own, you will be joining other talented female change-makers at those meetings where impactful decisions are being made, changing the conversation and the culture.
Change the tone of the conversation with the single most influential person in your life, you! What you paint on the canvas of your mind creates the landscape of your life; which is a fancy way of saying that you speak to yourself all day every day. Your inner dialogue is the #1 most impactful influence on your career and life. When you catch yourself speaking in a way you would never speak to another person, choose your next thought on purpose and take that first step on a new exciting career path.
Live, Work and Play in FULL Bloom
Women have a work ethic and a fundamental instinct to excel that is grossly under-appreciated. By implementing these practical strategies you can take some action today in your non-negotiable efforts to stop undervaluing yourself.
As you systematically address what is holding you back and give your limiting beliefs a voice, you can break out of your current cycle. Trust me, mirror work, if done for 30 days, will improve your self-esteem, confidence at work and over-all happiness.
A real decision, is marked by action. Decide right now what you can do and create a plan to make it happen. You can do it! If it was easy everyone would be doing it. Long term change is attainable through structure, support and dedication. These changes are simple, but not easy.
If you commit to change and have the accountability built into your plans, before you know it, will be using the word no as a complete sentence all while sneaking a wink in the mirror at your gorgeous, accomplished and successful face.