During a presentation I gave for about 40 business owners last month, I said,
“This world needs an army of warriors who use softness as a strength and kindness as a superpower.”
Being a strong, capable and powerful person can also mean seclusion, isolation and lonesomeness.
Capable women and men everywhere have impressed, juggled, overfunctioned and out-performed consistently in so many different situations that the people around them both personally and professionally forget they are in fact human beings.
Because of the high bench a mark, others are continually loading more on you and leave you alone to continue being your “awesome” self.
Being a strong and powerful person can be very isolating.
Let’s face it, you have set the bar so high that the people who are close to you take it for granted that you are beyond capable. Read my blog on the tale of Miss – Mrs. Capable and navigating the terrain of her rise to power, success and family.
No one lives in a single emotional, physical or spiritual state 24/7.
We all have our ups & downs.
The next time you see a beyond capable personality that is close to you, perhaps in the mirror (just sayin’), do one of the following:
Pay them a compliment
Ask them about the challenges they face living within an aura of excellence & invincibility
Allow them to be human; talk about more than their achievements
Ask great questions.
If you are living as a superpower achiever with a bulletproof persona, try bringing that softness and kindness into your day. Start small and see how it feels.
Here are a few ways to shift from isolation to connection.
HOT TIP #1
If beating yourself up worked, wouldn’t you be happy by now?
Try something new. The next time you catch yourself berating yourself for a mistake you made, pause and think of something you did that was really really great.
Why is it we can go in for a performance review and have 12 positive messages on our strengths, but we fixate on the single piece of “needs improvement” data that was provided?
HOT TIP #2
As we give we get
It can be really hard to make authentic connections when you are in a position of power. When you show up for your super strong colleagues and friends in a new way as interested, generous, kind and warm, it creates an opening, a crack where they can start to show up in a new way.
HOT TIP #3
Say less, ask more
The quality of the questions will produce the quality of the answers. When speaking to others who are used to you dominating and excelling at life in general, ask them more real questions.
Learn, connect and grow.
HOT TIP #4
Ask your fears out to tea
It takes courage to be vulnerable around others. But it is 100% worth it.
I love listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation’s podcast series while I’m driving. It really resonated with me when she reminded the listeners that we forget that we only have a finite amount of time to live this life and achieve our dreams; the time has come for us to get to the business of living our best life.
Take your fears out to tea.
Dance with them a little, thank them for their contribution.
Then firmly inform them that you are going to take the lead from here on out.
Thinking about the scary stuff is almost always worse than the doing of it.
I find myself reminding myself that we only regret the things we do NOT do.
Share a kindness.
and generous with your gifts.
Onwards & upwards,